Move from the center! The practice of Zen meditation and Wing chun kung fu are one and the same, to harmonize body and mind as one. This practice is finding ones center, moving from it and continually flowing to it. The Center is completely silent, still, and empty. From this center all life, love, and creativity arise as a continuous flow of experience. To realize and develop ones intuitive awareness of the center is to find the source of what you are, which is true peace, love, and harmony.
A Zen Master was once asked " after over 65 years of Zen practice and meditation, what would you say is the core of what you have learned? The Master answered " An appropriate response". Moving from the center is another way of saying appropriate response. The Zen master went on to explain that an appropriate response is what is revealed when one can "be close and do nothing". This statement should not be interpreted as nothing is done, or nothing gets done, but who does the doing?
"The art of letting go" is another coined term in the Zen tradition, which is being close and doing nothing. When we consider letting go we see that it takes great faith and trust, faith and trust in the unknown, which is the great challenge for one who sees himself as the one doing his life. One must be patient, attentive, intuitively aware, and in a state of faith and surrender to see the truth that he is not the one doing his life, that there is a power greater than himself that is sustaining all life including his own. Look to your breath, must you will your lungs to inhale or exhale to continue breathing, to continue living? No, but the body continues to respond to each moment with a breath.
When we do chisao (sticky hands, sparing) in the wing chun tradition we must learn to be close and do nothing, to let our body respond rather than our mind react. We must develop an intuitive awareness of our own body's movement and energy as well as our opponent's, to be sensitive and relaxed is the key, even beyond the skill's and techniques that are learned.
What is needed to be known will be relieved upon the time when it is needed. This is an appropriate response.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Monday, November 30, 2009
WingChun with Abijah
Tenets of Wing Chun include practicality, efficiency and economy of movement. Practitioners are encouraged to sense the energy behind their movements. The core philosophy becomes a useful guide to practitioners when modifying or refining the art.
Wing Chun believes in using the least amount of required force in any fighting situation. It believes properly timed positioning and movements can and should be used to defeat an opponent. This is achieved through balance, body structure and relaxation.
Wing Chun uses deflection and counter-attack in the same motion or will intercept the opponent to nullify an attack, rather than blocking then attacking in two separate motions. This means that the opponent's attack is automatically deflected by the arm-structure of the Wing Chun practitioner as the counter-punch is delivered.The "structure" permitting this deflection to occur is controlled through the correct focus of energy from the "core" to the "elbow".
Notice the Key word here "Core", this is a new concept in western fitness but has been the main focus for physical fitness for thousands of years. The development of intuitive awareness of body is an art form, a practice. Wing Chun Kung-fu is one of the many traditional Chinese art forms used to develop this intuitive awareness of body thereby harmonizing the relation of body & mind. The byproduct of studying this art form is the ability to defend yourself in threatening situations.
For me Wing chun has been a physical confirmation to what has been revealed in zazen meditation. Wing chun is moving from the center, and after having realized this has been an amazing teacher of The Way. I would like to reveal some of the deeper insight that I have been so fortunate to see through the practice and contemplation of Wing chun. Over the next few weeks I will be posting these insights every other day or so, I hope you enjoy.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Moving From The Center
Is the main purpose of your body to carry your head around?
If we answer no we should examine our experience a little closer. If we take a moment at any point during the day to examine our immediate, present experience, we will find that this may be closer to how we relate to our body's than we think. Funny how that last sentence ended, the key words (relate, body, think). You may be interested to find that how you relate your own body is very similar to how you relate to some external foreign object. Do we ever stop to feel a foreign object external to ourselves? Probably not, if anything we will give fleeting moments of thought. How often do we actually find ourselves living in the body?
The body has a located center, some names for this center are, the core, the hara, the dan tien, and so on. From the eastern perspective this center is located, but has little to do with the actual physical form of the body. It is perceived more as an energetic point from which the body's life force springs, and is harnessed. From a western perspective this is where the lower and upper halves of the body meet, ( the hip complex). Both perceptions are relevant to moving from the center.
Moving from the center could also be defined as "Moving toward wholeness, from Wholeness". People exhibit this when they are "in the flow" or "in the zone". This is perceived as a centering of the mind in the body or as the body (where body and mind are one). In a sense "Moving from the center" is being in the flow, or just "being the flow". What is the "flow"? How can we find the center, move from it, and be in the flow?
Our whole life in this one pointed "now" moment is the flow. Whatever is now is the flow which is the constant unfolding of our life. So the center is this now moment, all of it. The center is the circumference of now. Makes sense that all these meditation techniques keep directing us to be present for this ever present now moment. The physical body is the vehicle to perceiving this now moment, which is why so many meditation techniques bring us back to the body. We can find the center and move from it by exploring through intuitive awareness our body.
If we answer no we should examine our experience a little closer. If we take a moment at any point during the day to examine our immediate, present experience, we will find that this may be closer to how we relate to our body's than we think. Funny how that last sentence ended, the key words (relate, body, think). You may be interested to find that how you relate your own body is very similar to how you relate to some external foreign object. Do we ever stop to feel a foreign object external to ourselves? Probably not, if anything we will give fleeting moments of thought. How often do we actually find ourselves living in the body?
The body has a located center, some names for this center are, the core, the hara, the dan tien, and so on. From the eastern perspective this center is located, but has little to do with the actual physical form of the body. It is perceived more as an energetic point from which the body's life force springs, and is harnessed. From a western perspective this is where the lower and upper halves of the body meet, ( the hip complex). Both perceptions are relevant to moving from the center.
Moving from the center could also be defined as "Moving toward wholeness, from Wholeness". People exhibit this when they are "in the flow" or "in the zone". This is perceived as a centering of the mind in the body or as the body (where body and mind are one). In a sense "Moving from the center" is being in the flow, or just "being the flow". What is the "flow"? How can we find the center, move from it, and be in the flow?
Our whole life in this one pointed "now" moment is the flow. Whatever is now is the flow which is the constant unfolding of our life. So the center is this now moment, all of it. The center is the circumference of now. Makes sense that all these meditation techniques keep directing us to be present for this ever present now moment. The physical body is the vehicle to perceiving this now moment, which is why so many meditation techniques bring us back to the body. We can find the center and move from it by exploring through intuitive awareness our body.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Chi Pat Down
Give yourself a "chi pat down" to wake the body up and get out of your head!
Most of us spend most of our time in our heads. With all the many things we must do in an average day we find that we must be constantly thinking. This dose not leave much time for us to live in our body's. Even when we do something physical like working out or some recreational physical activity we find that most of the time spent in these activity's we are thinking in one form or another. Weather we are aware of it or not this is very draining on our natural energy sources.
We can find a resting point, a still point in a very natural, open "feeling attention of our body". I often use a technique called "Chi pat down" when I don't have time to do a workout or seated meditation. It only takes 5 minuets and does the trick.
Step by step Chi pat down.
1). With both your hands make a slight cupping hand position using "soft hands". You will use these soft cupping hands to pat down your whole body from feet to head.
2). In a standing position start at your left ankle and pat rapidly the inner and outer leg all the way up to the hip and inner thigh. Do the same for the front and back. Then do the same for the right leg, sides , front and back.
3). Starting at the upper thighs pat all the way up the stomach to the top of the chest, then with the right hand pat from the left shoulder down the front of the left arm. Continue patting up back side of left arm into the left arm pit then down left side ribs and obliques to left hip. Do the same on right side with left hand starting at right shoulder ending at right hip.
4). Give yourself a big hug with right arm over left, reach back as far as you can and pat about 5-7 times the back of shoulders, then switch arms to left over right and do the same.
5). Take both hands to the mid back as high as you can reach and pat down mid back to lower back, then over buttocks and down legs.
6). This will have taken you approximately 1-2 minuets as you should move slow enough to cover every inch of the body. Now take the next 3-4 minuets and stand upright with hands relaxed at sides, palms facing forward and shoulders relaxed. Have a soft bend in the knees. Just stand here and breath, bring a deep feeling attention into the whole body, and enjoy the refreshing feeling of chi flowing.
This works great first thing in the morning. Before you go for that cup of coffee during the day try a chi pat down. Your body and mind will thank you for it.
Most of us spend most of our time in our heads. With all the many things we must do in an average day we find that we must be constantly thinking. This dose not leave much time for us to live in our body's. Even when we do something physical like working out or some recreational physical activity we find that most of the time spent in these activity's we are thinking in one form or another. Weather we are aware of it or not this is very draining on our natural energy sources.
We can find a resting point, a still point in a very natural, open "feeling attention of our body". I often use a technique called "Chi pat down" when I don't have time to do a workout or seated meditation. It only takes 5 minuets and does the trick.
Step by step Chi pat down.
1). With both your hands make a slight cupping hand position using "soft hands". You will use these soft cupping hands to pat down your whole body from feet to head.
2). In a standing position start at your left ankle and pat rapidly the inner and outer leg all the way up to the hip and inner thigh. Do the same for the front and back. Then do the same for the right leg, sides , front and back.
3). Starting at the upper thighs pat all the way up the stomach to the top of the chest, then with the right hand pat from the left shoulder down the front of the left arm. Continue patting up back side of left arm into the left arm pit then down left side ribs and obliques to left hip. Do the same on right side with left hand starting at right shoulder ending at right hip.
4). Give yourself a big hug with right arm over left, reach back as far as you can and pat about 5-7 times the back of shoulders, then switch arms to left over right and do the same.
5). Take both hands to the mid back as high as you can reach and pat down mid back to lower back, then over buttocks and down legs.
6). This will have taken you approximately 1-2 minuets as you should move slow enough to cover every inch of the body. Now take the next 3-4 minuets and stand upright with hands relaxed at sides, palms facing forward and shoulders relaxed. Have a soft bend in the knees. Just stand here and breath, bring a deep feeling attention into the whole body, and enjoy the refreshing feeling of chi flowing.
This works great first thing in the morning. Before you go for that cup of coffee during the day try a chi pat down. Your body and mind will thank you for it.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Power of speech (week two)
Week two (Divisive speech)
This week we will be studying divisive speech. Again we will be using our pocket notebook during the day to jot down and note any situations that we find ourselves using divisive speech. At night we will reference our notebook and elaborate in our journal adding our reflection on the 3 check points, 1. before, 2. during, 3. after. Divisive speech is any speech that could cause a rift between people or groups of people. Most of the time this form of speech turns up in gossip, so that might be a place to be extra vigilant.
Again we want to make an objective observation of our thoughts, feelings, emotions, and physical sensations before, during, and after these situations. If you have really put some effort into the first weeks assignment you should see by now that it is difficult at times to be objective. We find ourselves not wanting to look into the situation deeply. But if you have put in an honest effort you should also have noticed that it can be very liberating to gain an awareness of the function of your mind. Just this increased awareness loosens the grip of identification with the sometimes chaotic movements of mind.
Be firm and disciplined with your practice of studying your speech, but also be gentle with yourself, resting as the awareness of who you are. Reflect on the oneness of being and becoming, let go and trust in both.
Contact me with any questions, 408-469-6764
This week we will be studying divisive speech. Again we will be using our pocket notebook during the day to jot down and note any situations that we find ourselves using divisive speech. At night we will reference our notebook and elaborate in our journal adding our reflection on the 3 check points, 1. before, 2. during, 3. after. Divisive speech is any speech that could cause a rift between people or groups of people. Most of the time this form of speech turns up in gossip, so that might be a place to be extra vigilant.
Again we want to make an objective observation of our thoughts, feelings, emotions, and physical sensations before, during, and after these situations. If you have really put some effort into the first weeks assignment you should see by now that it is difficult at times to be objective. We find ourselves not wanting to look into the situation deeply. But if you have put in an honest effort you should also have noticed that it can be very liberating to gain an awareness of the function of your mind. Just this increased awareness loosens the grip of identification with the sometimes chaotic movements of mind.
Be firm and disciplined with your practice of studying your speech, but also be gentle with yourself, resting as the awareness of who you are. Reflect on the oneness of being and becoming, let go and trust in both.
Contact me with any questions, 408-469-6764
Who Am I?
Free Satsang, Topic "Who Am I?"
The question we are all asking and simultaneously answering but unaware of.
Host: Abijah Crabtree, Fat Free Buddha Health & Wellness
Date: Thursday, April 16, 2009
Time: 7:00pm - 8:30pm
Location: Our Sacred Space Wellness center
Street: 2075 Lincoln Ave Suite E&F
City/Town: San Jose, CA
Phone: 4084696764
Email: abijahc@gmail.com
Description
Who Am I?
It all boils down to this question. The purpose and meaning in our
life is right here in this moment, in every moment, for it is in this
very moment this question and answer is being worked out, (unfolding).
" Who Am I?" is a process, a process that if woken up to can and will lead to true freedom.
We will begin with a 30 minuet meditation, then go into the topic
"Who Am I?" for an hour, primarily Q & A format. I hope you all can attend:-)
The question we are all asking and simultaneously answering but unaware of.
Host: Abijah Crabtree, Fat Free Buddha Health & Wellness
Date: Thursday, April 16, 2009
Time: 7:00pm - 8:30pm
Location: Our Sacred Space Wellness center
Street: 2075 Lincoln Ave Suite E&F
City/Town: San Jose, CA
Phone: 4084696764
Email: abijahc@gmail.com
Description
Who Am I?
It all boils down to this question. The purpose and meaning in our
life is right here in this moment, in every moment, for it is in this
very moment this question and answer is being worked out, (unfolding).
" Who Am I?" is a process, a process that if woken up to can and will lead to true freedom.
We will begin with a 30 minuet meditation, then go into the topic
"Who Am I?" for an hour, primarily Q & A format. I hope you all can attend:-)
Thursday, April 9, 2009
What is True love?
How can I find true love?
How can I give true love?
If you find yourself asking these questions this is surely a talk you want to attend. If you think you know what true love is, but at the same time cant seem to find it , you might not be looking in the right place or you might not truly know what it is.
Take a chance on love... Come join me in an exploration into "True Love:-)
FREE! Donations accepted.
| Host: | Abijah Crabtree, Fat Free Buddha Health & Wellness |
| : | |
| : |
| Date: | Friday, April 10, 2009 |
| Time: | 7:00pm - 8:30pm |
| Location: | Our Sacred Space Wellness center |
| Street: | 2075 Lincoln Ave Suite E&F |
| City/Town: | San Jose, CA |
| phone: | 4084696764 |
| Email: |
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Power of speech (week one)
If you cant control your speech, there's no way you can hope to control your mind!
This is a suggested exercise from my workshop "Finding Freedom (Free the Mind)". We will focus on 5 types of speech that are harmful to ourselves and others.
1) Untruthful speech ( words spoken with intent of misrepresenting the truth ).
2)Divisive speech (words spoken that could cause rifts between people ).
3) Harsh speech (words spoken that have the potential to hurt a persons feelings ).
4) Idle chatter ( words spoken with no purposeful intent at all ).
5) Gossip ( words spoken about a person behind their back ).
We will study our speech objectively using 3 check points of observation. Before, during, and after.
1) Before ( notice the focus of intent, why did you say what you said. Notice what feelings, emotions, and physical sensations accompany this intent )?
2) During ( just notice what feelings, emotions, and physical sensations arise during speaking )?
3) After ( notice what resulted from your speech, how did it affect you, what feelings, emotions, and physical sensations arise)?
This week we will study (Untruthful Speech).
Things you will need, ( small pocket size note book, regular note pad for journaling, and pencil or pen).
Instructions
Keep pocket note pad on you at all times. Make note of all words spoken containing untruths, from exaggerating a storie to lying about why we are late for work. Every untruth no matter how petty.Write the time, who was involved, & a brief explanation what it was about. At night before bed find a private place to journal. Reference you notes and journal the before, during, and after of each situation, add any reflections that may come up.
Remember, be gentle with yourself, accept all of who you are. What you are is already perfect and complete. Who you are is an evolution, we have the power to create what that evolution looks like. Relax and enjoy the process of growth & discovery that is taking place. The power of speech is an amazing transformative potential we can use skillfully to change our lives.
Use this blog site to make any comments and or questions during the week. Next Sunday we will explore what insights we have come to during the week.If you have any questions feel free to call ( 408-469-6764).
Enjoy your life:-)
This is a suggested exercise from my workshop "Finding Freedom (Free the Mind)". We will focus on 5 types of speech that are harmful to ourselves and others.
1) Untruthful speech ( words spoken with intent of misrepresenting the truth ).
2)Divisive speech (words spoken that could cause rifts between people ).
3) Harsh speech (words spoken that have the potential to hurt a persons feelings ).
4) Idle chatter ( words spoken with no purposeful intent at all ).
5) Gossip ( words spoken about a person behind their back ).
We will study our speech objectively using 3 check points of observation. Before, during, and after.
1) Before ( notice the focus of intent, why did you say what you said. Notice what feelings, emotions, and physical sensations accompany this intent )?
2) During ( just notice what feelings, emotions, and physical sensations arise during speaking )?
3) After ( notice what resulted from your speech, how did it affect you, what feelings, emotions, and physical sensations arise)?
This week we will study (Untruthful Speech).
Things you will need, ( small pocket size note book, regular note pad for journaling, and pencil or pen).
Instructions
Keep pocket note pad on you at all times. Make note of all words spoken containing untruths, from exaggerating a storie to lying about why we are late for work. Every untruth no matter how petty.Write the time, who was involved, & a brief explanation what it was about. At night before bed find a private place to journal. Reference you notes and journal the before, during, and after of each situation, add any reflections that may come up.
Remember, be gentle with yourself, accept all of who you are. What you are is already perfect and complete. Who you are is an evolution, we have the power to create what that evolution looks like. Relax and enjoy the process of growth & discovery that is taking place. The power of speech is an amazing transformative potential we can use skillfully to change our lives.
Use this blog site to make any comments and or questions during the week. Next Sunday we will explore what insights we have come to during the week.If you have any questions feel free to call ( 408-469-6764).
Enjoy your life:-)
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Freedom
Why do we love America?
America is an ideal, an ideal of freedom, and a feeble attempt at it I might say. Why do I say this? Well from the way I see it Americans don't necessarily experience a true sense of freedom. There are two ways to approach freedom. One way is to actualize "the freedom to", the other "the freedom from".
In the west we strive for the first, "the freedom to". We live in "The land of the free". Why can we say this? Well our constitution states it clearly, we have our civil rights and freedoms. We have as Americans freedom of speech, freedom of religion, freedom of the press, freedom of movement, freedom of association, right to assemble, right to petition, right to vote, basically the right to our individuality. This nation was built on "the freedom to".
A democracies attempt at equal rights is an attempt to protect their peoples freedom, to realize their desires, as far as this is possible. It is amazing to me that in most if not all democratic countries people don't feel very free.
"Freedom from" is a freedom from that very attempt. Freedom from...Freedom to! Freedom from being an individual with all its views, ideals, religious beliefs, personal history, the story of ME and what I want to have, be, and do. True freedom is much like true love in that both are unconditional. To actualize the "freedom to" there must first be the right conditions, then the "freedom to" can be found from and within these ideal conditions (theoretically speaking). So "freedom from" is the freedom from the futile attempt at finding true freedom in that which true freedom can never be found.
This leads us to a pivotal moment in our search for freedom, and if you haven't figured it out yet this search is exactly what your life has been from the very beginning. All your efforts have been nothing more than your relentless search for freedom. If you look at all you have done no matter how small or large, significant or petty, it all boils down to your search for freedom. Getting a job or quitting your job, going to school to get educated or dropping out of school, getting married or getting divorced, renting an apartment or buying a house, getting high or getting sober. It dose not matter what we think the reasons are for making these moves in our lives, for at the core the real reason is for freedom.
So the pivotal moment in our search is when we ask ourselves, if true freedom cannot be found in ideal conditions, through exercising the freedom to, where then does one look? This moment in which this question of where to look arises most often marks the first awareness that there was even a search to begin with. Well at this point we may come to the blunt reality that in all our efforts at actualizing the "freedom to" we still have not found a lasting sense of freedom. At best we might be able to say we have had short lived experiences of what seemed to be freedom, until the newness of the circumstance or condition which fostered this false sense of freedom wore off.
At this point many become "spiritual seekers". Some may go down the path of western psychology, some eastern philosophy, and others some form of orthodox religion. For me it marked my ever deepening practice of Vipassana, Zen Buddhism, and Advaita Vedanta. Being that my personal disposition is one of an extremist, within eight months after starting my Buddhist practice I found myself living in a Soto Zen Temple. Its interesting to me to reflect on those times, what was my motive? I was still pursuing freedom by exercising "freedom to". If I had the freedom to meditate for hours (at least 4-6 a day) and not have all the responsibility of the worldly life (job, personal relationships, ext), then I could find the answers that would lead to enlightenment. Upon reflection of those times I can also say that the first one and a half years at the temple where the most discouraging times of my life.
After a tortuous year and a half I decided the reason for my failed attempt at" waking up" was my insufficient environment. I needed to be in the right conditions, around the right people, and the right teacher. The temple was too loose. They only meditate once a day and no one there takes their practice serious enough. So off I went to the real deal (The Thai Forest Monastery) where real monks lived a life of renunciation, celibacy, and discipline. I was ready to do whatever it took, if the monastery would accept me I would easily leave it all behind. While at the monastery I lived in a small hut called a "kuti". I would work, eat, and meditate with the monks during the day, and contemplate my life as a monk at night in my kuti. How refreshing it was to be there, I knew I had found the right place, the place needed to finally wake up.
I was scheduled to be at the monastery for ten days where at the end of my stay I would decide whether or not to put in my application for resident monk. Though I would not complete my full ten day stay at the monastery. It was on the 5th night that I woke up to true freedom. I was in my kuti sitting in meditation before I was to go to sleep when it happened. The best way I can describe it is, surrender happened or letting go happened. There was all of the sudden this knowing, this deep intellectual understanding that I would never find the right conditions, I would struggle endlessly trying to create the right conditions. Then all of the sudden "I" stopped. I very naturally just "stopped". In this moment of stopping everything fell away, and what was left was complete. There was just this sense of being alive, silent, still, boundless aliveness.
This sense of aliveness is what I am at the core, before I am Abijah and all that that includes I am just alive. For that moment Abijah fell away, and it was from this falling away that I found freedom. I found freedom from my self. What a great relief! Some call this aliveness pure consciousness, just being, spirit, Buddha nature, or my favorite intuitive awareness. I like this way of explaining it "intuitive awareness". Its an all inclusive awareness, it includes Abijah, his thoughts, the world, and all that the human experience is.
This brings me to a very important point in this talk. There are two aspects to our experience of who and what we are. "Being" and "Becoming". Who we are is constantly becoming, constantly changing, evolving. What we are is just being, already complete, never changing, always just alive. Its not that it is necessary or beneficial to suppress ones natural human experience of becoming. The problem is not that who we are as a person exists. The problem is that we miss identify who we are for what we are. If we are always trying to find true freedom, true love, true anything in that which is constantly changing we will fail miserably.
When we look for freedom or truth we look for something permanent, sure, something that always offers the same concrete answer. The key then of where to look is right here in your present experience, for both who you are and what you are, being and becoming are nowhere else but right here right now. If we can use the technique of "being close and doing nothing" we can become intimate with our present experience and give the space that is needed for insight into the root issue at hand.
"Being close and doing nothing" is resting in awareness, open, receptive, all inclusive, intuitive awareness. This very awareness is itself "the freedom from". Before the body and mind, before the sense of "ME" and who "I" am there is this awareness. Who we are arises within this awareness. This awareness is what we are at the most fundamental level. We could call this awareness "just being" before being this or that, before during and after the who that we most often identify with.
Being close and doing nothing dose not mean that nothing gets done or that we sit back and take a passive role in our own life. It means we stop blindly reacting to our life and start becoming aware of what is really happening in each moment.
So try it out, give some time to explore intuitive awareness. The more acquainted you become with this ever present intuitive awareness you will come to realize this as a refuge, your true freedom. I hope this helps. My upcoming workshop "Finding Freedom" will be an exploration of becoming=the freedom to, and being=the freedom from.
Enjoy your life;-) Abijah
America is an ideal, an ideal of freedom, and a feeble attempt at it I might say. Why do I say this? Well from the way I see it Americans don't necessarily experience a true sense of freedom. There are two ways to approach freedom. One way is to actualize "the freedom to", the other "the freedom from".
In the west we strive for the first, "the freedom to". We live in "The land of the free". Why can we say this? Well our constitution states it clearly, we have our civil rights and freedoms. We have as Americans freedom of speech, freedom of religion, freedom of the press, freedom of movement, freedom of association, right to assemble, right to petition, right to vote, basically the right to our individuality. This nation was built on "the freedom to".
A democracies attempt at equal rights is an attempt to protect their peoples freedom, to realize their desires, as far as this is possible. It is amazing to me that in most if not all democratic countries people don't feel very free.
"Freedom from" is a freedom from that very attempt. Freedom from...Freedom to! Freedom from being an individual with all its views, ideals, religious beliefs, personal history, the story of ME and what I want to have, be, and do. True freedom is much like true love in that both are unconditional. To actualize the "freedom to" there must first be the right conditions, then the "freedom to" can be found from and within these ideal conditions (theoretically speaking). So "freedom from" is the freedom from the futile attempt at finding true freedom in that which true freedom can never be found.
This leads us to a pivotal moment in our search for freedom, and if you haven't figured it out yet this search is exactly what your life has been from the very beginning. All your efforts have been nothing more than your relentless search for freedom. If you look at all you have done no matter how small or large, significant or petty, it all boils down to your search for freedom. Getting a job or quitting your job, going to school to get educated or dropping out of school, getting married or getting divorced, renting an apartment or buying a house, getting high or getting sober. It dose not matter what we think the reasons are for making these moves in our lives, for at the core the real reason is for freedom.
So the pivotal moment in our search is when we ask ourselves, if true freedom cannot be found in ideal conditions, through exercising the freedom to, where then does one look? This moment in which this question of where to look arises most often marks the first awareness that there was even a search to begin with. Well at this point we may come to the blunt reality that in all our efforts at actualizing the "freedom to" we still have not found a lasting sense of freedom. At best we might be able to say we have had short lived experiences of what seemed to be freedom, until the newness of the circumstance or condition which fostered this false sense of freedom wore off.
At this point many become "spiritual seekers". Some may go down the path of western psychology, some eastern philosophy, and others some form of orthodox religion. For me it marked my ever deepening practice of Vipassana, Zen Buddhism, and Advaita Vedanta. Being that my personal disposition is one of an extremist, within eight months after starting my Buddhist practice I found myself living in a Soto Zen Temple. Its interesting to me to reflect on those times, what was my motive? I was still pursuing freedom by exercising "freedom to". If I had the freedom to meditate for hours (at least 4-6 a day) and not have all the responsibility of the worldly life (job, personal relationships, ext), then I could find the answers that would lead to enlightenment. Upon reflection of those times I can also say that the first one and a half years at the temple where the most discouraging times of my life.
After a tortuous year and a half I decided the reason for my failed attempt at" waking up" was my insufficient environment. I needed to be in the right conditions, around the right people, and the right teacher. The temple was too loose. They only meditate once a day and no one there takes their practice serious enough. So off I went to the real deal (The Thai Forest Monastery) where real monks lived a life of renunciation, celibacy, and discipline. I was ready to do whatever it took, if the monastery would accept me I would easily leave it all behind. While at the monastery I lived in a small hut called a "kuti". I would work, eat, and meditate with the monks during the day, and contemplate my life as a monk at night in my kuti. How refreshing it was to be there, I knew I had found the right place, the place needed to finally wake up.
I was scheduled to be at the monastery for ten days where at the end of my stay I would decide whether or not to put in my application for resident monk. Though I would not complete my full ten day stay at the monastery. It was on the 5th night that I woke up to true freedom. I was in my kuti sitting in meditation before I was to go to sleep when it happened. The best way I can describe it is, surrender happened or letting go happened. There was all of the sudden this knowing, this deep intellectual understanding that I would never find the right conditions, I would struggle endlessly trying to create the right conditions. Then all of the sudden "I" stopped. I very naturally just "stopped". In this moment of stopping everything fell away, and what was left was complete. There was just this sense of being alive, silent, still, boundless aliveness.
This sense of aliveness is what I am at the core, before I am Abijah and all that that includes I am just alive. For that moment Abijah fell away, and it was from this falling away that I found freedom. I found freedom from my self. What a great relief! Some call this aliveness pure consciousness, just being, spirit, Buddha nature, or my favorite intuitive awareness. I like this way of explaining it "intuitive awareness". Its an all inclusive awareness, it includes Abijah, his thoughts, the world, and all that the human experience is.
This brings me to a very important point in this talk. There are two aspects to our experience of who and what we are. "Being" and "Becoming". Who we are is constantly becoming, constantly changing, evolving. What we are is just being, already complete, never changing, always just alive. Its not that it is necessary or beneficial to suppress ones natural human experience of becoming. The problem is not that who we are as a person exists. The problem is that we miss identify who we are for what we are. If we are always trying to find true freedom, true love, true anything in that which is constantly changing we will fail miserably.
When we look for freedom or truth we look for something permanent, sure, something that always offers the same concrete answer. The key then of where to look is right here in your present experience, for both who you are and what you are, being and becoming are nowhere else but right here right now. If we can use the technique of "being close and doing nothing" we can become intimate with our present experience and give the space that is needed for insight into the root issue at hand.
"Being close and doing nothing" is resting in awareness, open, receptive, all inclusive, intuitive awareness. This very awareness is itself "the freedom from". Before the body and mind, before the sense of "ME" and who "I" am there is this awareness. Who we are arises within this awareness. This awareness is what we are at the most fundamental level. We could call this awareness "just being" before being this or that, before during and after the who that we most often identify with.
Being close and doing nothing dose not mean that nothing gets done or that we sit back and take a passive role in our own life. It means we stop blindly reacting to our life and start becoming aware of what is really happening in each moment.
So try it out, give some time to explore intuitive awareness. The more acquainted you become with this ever present intuitive awareness you will come to realize this as a refuge, your true freedom. I hope this helps. My upcoming workshop "Finding Freedom" will be an exploration of becoming=the freedom to, and being=the freedom from.
Enjoy your life;-) Abijah
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Finding Freedom Workshop
"Freedom is a choice we all have the ability to make"
Do you experience confusion, anxiety, anger, fear, depression?
Do you you experience mental and physical stress and fatigue?
Do you find that all to often you want what you don't have, and have what you don't want?
Can you honestly say you are free?
Free The Mind
Identify negative tendencies of the mind that leave us experiencing fear, confusion, anger, anxiety, loneliness, and depression.
Explore the freedom we can experience from increasing our awareness of negative states of mind and how they function to control our lives.
Explore tools and techniques including the study of thoughts, the power of speech, the power of acceptance, body awareness, and meditation to understand and transcend these negative states of mind and realize peace.
During the course of the workshop we will explore each topic individually through lecture, Q & A, and active participation in specific exercises. The conclusion of the retreat will be an integration of all topics where each individual will leave with a daily/weekly program to follow, along with follow up consultations via phone and/or email.
Please join us in our daylong workshop where we will work together and support each other on our journey to finding freedom.
Workshop held at OUR SACRED SPACE Wellness Center. 2075 Lincoln Ave Suite E&F< San Jose, CA 95125 (Willow Glen)
$65 fee will include snacks and tea, and services offered by Abijah Crabtree.
Rsvp by March 25th to abijah@fatfreebuddha.com, or call Abijah at (408)469-6764
"Freedom is a choice we all have the ability to make"
Do you experience confusion, anxiety, anger, fear, depression?
Do you you experience mental and physical stress and fatigue?
Do you find that all to often you want what you don't have, and have what you don't want?
Can you honestly say you are free?
Free The Mind
Identify negative tendencies of the mind that leave us experiencing fear, confusion, anger, anxiety, loneliness, and depression.
Explore the freedom we can experience from increasing our awareness of negative states of mind and how they function to control our lives.
Explore tools and techniques including the study of thoughts, the power of speech, the power of acceptance, body awareness, and meditation to understand and transcend these negative states of mind and realize peace.
During the course of the workshop we will explore each topic individually through lecture, Q & A, and active participation in specific exercises. The conclusion of the retreat will be an integration of all topics where each individual will leave with a daily/weekly program to follow, along with follow up consultations via phone and/or email.
Please join us in our daylong workshop where we will work together and support each other on our journey to finding freedom.
Workshop held at OUR SACRED SPACE Wellness Center. 2075 Lincoln Ave Suite E&F< San Jose, CA 95125 (Willow Glen)
$65 fee will include snacks and tea, and services offered by Abijah Crabtree.
Rsvp by March 25th to abijah@fatfreebuddha.com, or call Abijah at (408)469-6764
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